Aly's Rollercoaster Day

I took this picture right after she told me she pooped in the toilet! Amy did her hair and she was the cutest little thing!
Angela, Brandon and Steve, an adorable family who also moved from Northern Calif right after we came up here.

Sean and Aly were pretty good, but they were getting pretty bored towards the end.


Aly waiting at the urgent care in Bellevue Children's Hospital. She didn't want to let go the tissue even though I told her she doesn't have to hold it anymore.

Waiting to be stitched up!

A reward for being brave and pooping in the toilet!

Today was an interesting day. We had a plan to meet our friends Steve, Angela and their son Brandon at Noble Court for a dim sum lunch. Amy came to watch Noah and Saya as I could not imagine taking all four kids to the busy restaurant. Right before we were about to leave, Alyson decided to go use the potty and she did it!! She pooped for the very first time in the toilet! I was so happy when she had the big grin. She was so proud of herself and I was, too! She couldn't wait to tell Daddy what she did, so we hurried to meet Daddy, Sean, and the Dills at the restaurant. We had a nice lunch and we stuffed ourselves with yummy dumplings. It was nice catching up with the Dills as it's been a while since we saw them last.

After lunch, we all went home and played Kinect together. The Dills are avid Kinect players, so they played like second nature and beat me in Dance Central! Things were going well until I heard Sean and Aly fighting over an elephant toy downstairs. They were both yelling and then I heard a thug and saw Alyson curled up on the floor screaming. I rushed down and her face was covered in blood!! I was ready to pass out seeing my little girl in such state. She had a big gash on her forehead and was bleeding a lot. Sean threw the elephant toy (a machine that blows out air, so it is heavy) and it hit Alyson's forehead. I became kind of useless and Mike stepped in and took care of her. We applied tissue paper on her forehead to stop the bleeding and eventually it stopped. We decided it would be best I take her to the emergency room, so off we left. I talked to her on the car and sang her songs to calm her down. She was calmer than me, though, being very still and quiet. Her surviving instinct kicked in maybe and I was just impressed how composed she was throughout the ordeal. She was very good at the hospital, too, and remained calm even while they were stitching her up. In the end, she received six stitches and she didn't shed any tears after the initial shock. She even peed twice while at the hospital in the toilet!

To reward her, I took her out to dinner and got her a scoop of "pink ice cream" she's been wanting to try. It's just a strawberry ice cream from Cold Stone, but she put some gummy bears in it. She was a happy little girl at the end of the day. When we got home, Sean apologized to Alyson and they made up. She even pooped again right before bed and what a champion she is!! Today, I saw a strength in her which was beyond her age. She's got a great survival skill like me and ability to control emotions. She is going to be a beautiful, strong and smart woman someday!!

Sean, Sean... What to do with him!? Sean is very impulsive and often has hard time understanding what the consequence might be. He also has a hard time understanding people's emotions, how they might feel if he hurt them. Daddy had a long talk with him and he does feel bad about what happened. I need to talk to the ABA therapist and psychiatrist about it and get their professional opinion.

To tell the truth, all the screaming and negative behavior happens because Sean still has hard time expressing himself using language. This is my latest discovery about Sean after close observation and thinking... Sure, he talks a lot and he's pretty much caught up to his peers in terms of how many words he uses in a sentence and using more complex grammar. But I do realize that he often asks same questions over and over again and talks about similar topics every day. When he does talk about his emotions, he sounds clumsy and the words he spits out are like a poem. I have to think about it for a minute to process what he really means to say.

The other day, he said "Mommy, why did you make me?", "I don't want to be made Mommy" and finally said "I want to disappear". What he said broke my heart and I am teary as I type this. What I understood was that he is not happy with himself and frustrated by how he is. He came to the realization that he has hard time controlling his emotions and has difficult time being in tune with his own feelings as well as expressing them in words. To others, he may look like an attention seeking spoiled little boy, but he is the most complex and fragile little person who needs a warm and strong set of hands to support him. We have a lot of work to do, but we'll get through it. Yes, I made him and I will make sure he'll be the best person he can be no matter what the obstacles may be. It's my responsibility as a Mom and boy, I do take it very seriously!!