This post is painful to write.
Mike and I had a dilemma. Ideally, we should have talked to Sean about Aly's departure to Japan as often as possible to ease his mind into the big change. However, that risked scaring Alyson since I knew that he would have gotten upset everytime. So, we did tell him about Aly's departure but we mentioned less about that as the day got closer.
The morning Aly and grandma left, there were sadness and tears. Sean was a complete mess saying "Alyson, you can't go to Japan!!" and could not contain himself. He was crying and screaming, and all we could do was just watch him express his emotions. He could not be comforted until he accepted the fact. That did happen eventually, but it was very difficult to watch the process.
My Mom hugged me and said "I will take a very good care of her, so please do not worry". I cried and replied "I understand that 100% in my brain, but my heart still worries." I looked at Aly and she was looking down the whole time playing with the zipper of her hoodie. She didn't shed a tear, but I could tell that she was trying her best to be composed. I saw that look before, when she went to the emergency room with a gush in her forehead. I was very impressed with her. This girl is strong, I thought. She said good bye to us with clear voice and left with grandma on a cab to the airport. I had to take Noah to therapy and Mike had to work.
I am thinking about her as I write and I do miss her terribly. At Noah's therapy, I showed up with bright red eyes and nose, and scared the receptionist and therapist. I explained to them that my daughter left for Japan and of course, I bawled again. Whose idea was this? Well, don't ask... The house is a quarter quieter than before and chores a little easier. But nothing beats having all four my children with me. A piece of me missing but I anticipate an amazing experience awaits Aly in Japan. So, I hope. I miss you Alyson, my beautiful daughter. I cannot wait until I hug you!
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