Turning 40

I wrote this post the day after my birthday!

Hi, it's me Kimi and her 40 year-old self.  April 1, yesterday, was my 40th birthday.  It sounds like it should be a big milestone, but it really didn't feel like any special than turning 39.  I think it had more significance to my Mom to whom her daughter sounds all so officially grown up with strands of grays in her hair.  She has somewhat joined her side of the group, and as a mother it must be a big deal. 

I had a pretty good birthday with my family.  Mike made me a breakfast and brought it to my bedside, which I had to excuse myself to go pee first before being served.  He served me two full sized toast, one whole Italian turkey sausage and two eggs.  That was a huge Mike-sized-breakfast and I could not eat them all. 

Mike and I took Noah and Saya to run some errands while my Mom fried up the yummy chicken nuggets, my favorite.  Sean and Alyson were happily playing together by the sunny window, and I paused and watched them play because they looked so beautiful.  I had a cloud hanging on my head the entire day.  I wanted to be happy, but I had a weight on my chest that could not be shaken off.  Alyson was to leave for Japan with my Mom the next day.  Mike was having a hard time as well, but he tried his best to be cheerful for the family and me.

Jan came over for birthday lunch which started at 1 pm.  She brought smooth Merlot by St. Michelle, which we enjoyed a lot, and sashimi and my Mom's chicken nuggets were so yummy.  We sat together and laughed like a happy TV family.  Mike ordered a huge birthday cake from Regents Bakery and they sang a happy birthday song for me.  Saya tried to blow off the candles, but her little slobbery blows weren't enough.  The cake was yummy and everyone was completely full by the time we took the last bite. 

Amy came over to see Alyson since she will be gone for a while.  We chatted and she agreed with me to go clothes shopping with me since she has good tastes in clothes.  I am set to cut my hair on May 3 and hoping for a decent make over to come out of it.  My clothes are blah since I hardly have time to think about anything beyond getting from A to B without being more than five minutes late or classic what and when to cook dinner.  

All in all, I had a good birthday.  I wonder if Aly's departure is not the solo culprit of my un-birthday-like attitude.  Maybe I am not just so thrilled about turning 40.  I am not going to be a young woman anymore.  It's only a slope downwards until I hit the base.  No wonder I am not jumping up and down!?   Being a Mom of four children, my focus has been raising them for the past six years.  I am hoping to focus a little bit more on my own happiness going forward and that should take care of this sour newbie to the 40 club!