Happy New Year - 2015!!

The giant door at Todaiji temple in Nara. The afternoon sun was shining through the opening and all the small holes in the ancient building.  It was very beautiful!

Here I am staying up by myself on this New Year's eve, cleaning up the cat litter, sweeping the cereals off the floor, reloading the dishwasher to fit more dirty dishes... the usual chores I do at night after everyone goes to bed.  I have ten more minutes before the midnight so my blog was a good place to come to in the last remaining minutes of 2014.

We had a good growing year with all children now in school.  Kids are more independent than the year before and that brought sense of accomplishment for me and the kids.  With having more time to myself, I was faced with the challenge and pressure of how to use my free time wisely.  I know what a silly thing to worry about but I come from an overachieving culture that those types of "problems" are around me everyday.   I volunteer at kids' school - check, I hang out with my friends - check, go shopping for my family and run errands - check, I was quite busy I barely had time to finish my house chores before Mike came home from work. 

Aly said to me in Japan that she likes visiting Japan because I am not working all the time.  Well, that kind of made me think...  I may be too busy doing stuff that the kids feel like I am not available to them.  It would be a big challenge but I want to manage time a little better so that I can spend more time with the kids at home after school.   Having so many commitments every day, I started to forget a lot of important meetings and appointments, too.  I need to slow down and write down my schedule and check it every day.  I bought a new planner in Japan so I am pretty excited to start using it from tomorrow!

Another big challenge is Noah.  Noah has been causing a lot of problems at home and whenever we are outside.  He is a smart boy I know but he is not toilet trained yet.  He is very impulsive and sensory deprived that he would touch his soiled diaper.  I wanted to cry when I discovered the mess he made in his room.  Mike and I were wiping walls and floors at midnight feeling pretty miserable.  He talks more now expressing his wants but somehow the toilet thing is not working very well.  He also throws massive tantrums and started to hit himself very hard.  The way he punches his own head, it's so painful to watch.  I started to get used to this state and I shake my head because I feel like I am giving up if I allowed him to be this way.  Before, he didn't seem very autistic to me but now he definitely has the classic look of autism.  That caused more heartache than when he first received his diagnosis a little over four years ago.  Maybe I had a big hope that he is going to outgrow autism, who knows.  We have to change our tactic to meet Noah's new needs.  We love that little boy with bright big eyes so much. 

I am excited to start Yoga with my friend, Hanae, in the new year.  I've attended her class once in her home studio and boy she worked me out.  It hurt so much but in a good way.  I felt like a well oiled machine after the class.  My body is so beaten by carrying four children for many years, so this is my chance to restore my body back or make it even better.  Mike is now an organic health nut who drinks green tea and butter every morning, so it looks like getting healthier is one of his top agendas in the new year.  It definitely is on my top list for me, too.  How can I take care of four lives when I am barely surviving everyday!? 

So, here is to a healthier and happier me surrounded by happier children in 2015!! 
I have a good feeling about this year!

Thank you for putting up with my irregular posting and not so attractive web design.  With so many beautiful blog pages written by perfect looking women, I feel a bit out of place now.  However, I will keep writing as long as someone reads it - be it myself :-).

Happy Happy New Year to you all!!  Let's make the year 2015 the best one yet!

Kimi